It is the job of the Golden State Warriors to keep us sufficiently entertained during the long winter march to the start of the regular season in April, and though you wouldn’t suspect it at first glance, this is a difficult task when they are winning 17 out of every 20 games. Over and over and over again.
In that way, Wednesday night’s 126-111 victory over the Charlotte Hornets can be considered a failure. In fact, it can be considered a failure twice, as an easy cover for bettors ended up being a galling push because of Treveon Graham’s last-second trey. Steve Kerr’s decision not to call a timeout to prevent this travesty of justice is something he’ll have to live with for the rest of his life.
Oh, sure, nobody is getting more bang per buck than a Warrior fan, because there are so many ways in which they can induce drooling. There is the odd uber-highlight from Stephen Curry or Kevin Durant or Klay Thompson or Draymond Green or the magnificent Zaza Pachulia, or, as we have come to know them, WTF-O-Grams. There is the odd Green tantrum, which happens less and less frequently as he embraces his newest attempt at a zen-like state. There is even the occasional thoughtful Kerr pregame treatise on modern politics in an increasingly dangerous world.
They are, in short, the most fun you can have with a seat in the nosebleeds.
But truthfully, what we are all in this for more than anything else is the platinum beatdown – a game like Wednesday’s purported to be, in which the locals jumped on Charlotte’s exposed windpipe right at the end of the national anthem, took a 20-point lead barely six minutes into the game, had 77 at the half, 108 in three quarters, and ended up with a pipe-slippers-and-brandy-chaser victory.
Unless, of course, you were giving the 15. Or you bet the under. Or you’re only in it for the “I saw them win a game by 60” crowd.
Here, to ruin the narrative flow, is a chart of the 10 teams who best know how to assemble a blowout, from 2014-15 to the present day. Admire the 20 wins by 30 or more, or the five by 40 or more. The Warriors know excessive.
WINS BY 20 30 40 50
SA 45 7 2 1
CLE 41 16
GS 40 14 5 1
LAC 37 8 1
OKC 28 5
UTA 22 4 1
ATL 21 5
HOU 20 4 1
DET 19 2
CHA 18 2
DAL 18 2 1 1
(Data stolen brazenly from ProBasketballReference.com, no rights reserved whatsoever)
But Warrior fans have been made hard to please by the overwhelming winning percentage, or the parade, so a game like Wednesday’s is as likely as not to leave a meh taste in their mouths. And for this team, having created such a ridiculously big bar of stimulus, the taste of meh may as well be the taste of soot.
If there is a practical value in this otherwise entirely gratuitous statistic, it is that games like that allow a coach to rest his starters while his reserves maintain useful intensity. Now that wasn’t entirely the case Wednesday, as Kerr closed the game with his vaunted Slight Case Of Bronchitis lineup of James Michael McAdoo, Ian Clark, Kevon Looney, Patrick McCaw and Damian Jones. They’re the ones who couldn’t hold that precarious 120-100 lead.
But mostly routs are for entertainment purposes only – like Golden State’s record against the line (22-25-2, which is unacceptable) or against the total (21-28, which is simply putrid). The Warriors have sucked some of the joy from winning, which is why people ask “What’s wrong with the Warriors?” when they win 119-113 (Detroit, December 23), so they have to reinvigorate the fan base with the occasional 149-103 (Team Walton, November 23).
In other words, we as a nation pretend to like close games, but if it involves our favorite living laundry, we want a throat-punching, groin-kneeing, curb-stomping scoreboard assault.
Good-naturedly, of course.
This game wasn’t that, though, because the Warriors didn’t reduce the game into four ruthless quarters, but called it a good night’s work after two-and-a-half. In this way, those fans who stayed for the entire game (and you know who you are) didn’t get the thrill that comes with the comprehensive maulings people pay good money to see.
That doesn’t make up for the Stephen Curry 39-point game, or the latest up-tick from JaVale McGee, or Jones’ first NBA points. Sorry, gents, but when you suck the fun out of a mere victory, this is the kind of notice you get.
Thursday, the Warriors go to Los Angeles to face the Clippers, their one-time archrivals who most recently gave Warrior fans exactly what they want – a 144-98 defeat.
That isn’t likely to happen again, though. Kicking the brains out of someone is a lot harder than it looks, which is why until the regular (read: preseason) ends, maybe you should just use your imaginations to spot the opponent a 20, and then see what the Warriors can do. You’ll re-learn what most fan bases already understand – the agony of competition, even if it’s ginned-up and totally artificial.
Trust us, it’ll be fun. In other words, April can’t come soon enough.
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