The Warriors should add Carmelo Anthony for one reason only

Here’s how perverse I am, No. 31,806: I think the Golden State Warriors should make a run at Carmelo Anthony.
 
Not because they need him, because they don’t. Not because they can use him, because they realistically can’t. Not because he fits anything they do, because he absolutely does not.
 
But they should do it anyway, and only for one reason -- because it will make all the medias, social, antisocial and all medias inbetween, gnash their teeth and shake their fists in more convincingly impotent rage.
 
And at this point, that’s all that’s really left to entertain us before next June.
 
The Oklahoma City Thunder are leaving Anthony out on the front lawn, his pockets stuffed with $28 million in hot cash he richly earned even though he has increasingly played uninspiring with each passing year -- hey, a contract's a contract. He is of so little use to them that they are willing to do the penance of the luxury tax just to see the back of him.
 
And while there are rumors that the Houston Rockets will find a place for him to be essentially motionless, this is where the Warriors come in.
 
They should swoop in front of Houston general obsessive Daryl Morey, grab Anthony and announce, “We don’t really want him, we just know you did and we’d rather you be unhappy.”
 
I mean, the Warriors made their national heel turn when Kevin Durant had the temerity to exercise his free agent rights, and doubled down when they took the uni-legged DeMarcus Cousins as a rental. Now people are trying to figure out ways to stop them from being them despite having no actual reason save their own pouty faces.
 
But to grab Anthony would be the most gratuitous act yet, the middlest middle finger of them all – a spite signing done for the sole reason of making people turn purple.
 
Now before we go any further, I figure I’ll have to explain this to some of you. I don’t think the Warriors should have any interest in Carmelo Anthony as a player. As a fellow, he is by all accounts a grand guy, and you can never have enough of those, but as a player he is the living embodiment of the anti-Warrior. This should not happen, and it will not happen.
 
But if it did, it would be the most hilariously vindictive act ever, and would make the Warriors an actual villain as opposed to the straw villain they are now.
 
Durant was an eminently justifiable acquisition by any standard, and anyone who believes otherwise is clearly a simp. Cousins was an odd signing but one whose market was fairly threadbare and found the only place where he could lower the odds against ending his career as a potential big earner was by going to the champions and their no-fuss-no-muss environment.
 
Anthony, though, would be a signing designed only to infuriate the punditocracy for the sake of infuriating the punditocracy, and few groups deserve that more than them. The added joy of making Morey and Rockets owner Tilman Fertitta throw their hands up in exasperation would be a nice add-on, but mostly this would be a knee in the nethers of the Not-As-Smart-As-They-Think-They-Are (with a few noteworthy exceptions) crowd.
 
So that’s why the Warriors should sign Carmelo Anthony – just to do it and let the hate spray go where it goes. That is the new NBA, after all – killing time until the surrender flags come back down.