The saga of Bryan Colangelo's Twitter fingers came at the perfect time


Bryan Colangelo has come along at just the right time for an NBA Finals that needs that little extra “Huh?”
There is a sameness about these Finals that is unavoidable. When the same two teams meet this often, there is bound to be some overlap, even though the Cleveland cavaliers went to the trouble of remaking most of their team on the fly three months ago.
But more than that, there is little about this series which is actual doubt. The Warriors are mega-prohibitive favorites (minus-800 in most books after opening minus-1000 and rising to as high as minus-1200 in some places, and favored in Game 1 by a record 12 points). The nagging bone bruise on Andre Iguodala does not seem to be nearly as crippling to the Warriors’ hopes as it would have three years ago or even last year because LeBron James has so little help, especially since Kevin Love’s concussion doesn’t seem to be improving and further damages an already thin team.
In addition, everyone who has made a living contriving arguments about LeBron James’ place in the universe has finally surrendered to the two inevitable truths about him – he is that good, and comparing him to Michael Jordan incessantly has finally reached its sell-by date. The debate is over, and we have all concluded that it doesn’t matter. Even television producers have concluded that, and they are among the dimmest of the dim when it comes to repetition.
All this may be why people who predict series length and usually go with the favorite in six games – the safe pick – are going to five in this one, and thinking even that might be too generous to the Cavs. It’s like they’ve seen all they need to see, and they have skipped ahead to the end of the book.
Thus, Colangelo’s insane Twitter fixation and willingness/eagerness to savage his own players on the Philadelphia 76ers has come at the perfect time – thus diverting the chat from whether this series will be more ho than hum to whether Colangelo survives lunch.
It even allows everyone to localize the story to meet their own teams’ needs. Not only can we get a day’s work out of “Does Bob Myers have burner accounts?” and “How many online personalities does Vlade Divac have?” we don’t even have to be sport-specific. Is John Lynch a hyperactive chatterbox? Who has Billy Beane crushed today? Is Doug Wilson a Russian agent? Who did Brian Sabean consult to have Twitter explained to him?
Why, you can get three days of nonsense work done to get you all the way to the weekend, and who doesn’t like that?
Of course, the Colangelo story also obliterates the Stanley Cup Final, which is already at as a disadvantage despite being infinitely more entertaining and history-making. The Vegas Golden Knights are, and this is not disputable, the best story in sports, or at least they were before Colangelo came along and gave us social media in hell.
But even then, he may have done us a service, because social media is one of the things that separates us from the animals and plants, to the great relief of the animals and plants. If this helps adjust people’s attitudes toward sharing their attitudes beyond the levels of propriety, then that’s social media too. It is always changing, and almost always worse than it was the day before.
And there you have it – the NBA Finals while barely mentioning the NBA Finals, as God has clearly intended.

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