What three brave citizens didn't vote for Ken Griffey?

We open with a smoking gun: Someone in the 49ers is still leaking information about their coaches, and now it’s happening even before the fact: and here it is.

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David Lee has been taken out of the Boston Celtics’ regular rotation, though we are not close enough to tell if this is just Brad Stevens’ way of trying to turn Amir Johnson into Draymond Green.

I mean, there have been worse ideas, and most of them coming from Philadelphia, right? In fact, if Lee ever gets around to asking for a trade, general manager Sam Hinkie is always up for . . . oops, too late.

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Black Monday is now nine days’ old, which means the NFL can now actually slow the rotation of the earth.

On the other hand, at least Louis Van Gaal survived Lovie Smith, so the Glazers can at least pick up a few bar bets in Manchester.

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Things I want to learn, but apparently never will, in the aftermath of the annual Hall of Fame snivel-a-thon:

• What three brave citizens didn’t vote for Ken Griffey. I mean, given the typical he’s-an-idiot-he-should-lose-his-vote-he-should-reveal-himself-so-we-can-beat-him-with-pipes-he-should-be-fed-to-a-bear reaction from the Uniformity Of Thought Or Death crowd, I wish I’d been one of them.

• That Griffey used PEDs, just so everyone who has assumed with such vehemence that he was clean as a whistle without ever having the slightest idea either way will shut up about it.

• That Tim Raines is actually the first unanimous choice because of the thoroughly honorable way he handled his latest disappointment.

• That Congress passes a law that entitled local and state authorities to jail anyone who complains that a voter didn’t vote for “their guy.” I originally thought they should be ordered to date another person to see if there is life outside Crazytown, but jail seems more appropriate.

• And more festive.

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I am surprised that Warrior fans who have learned that the San Antonio Spurs have the largest-ever combined margin of victory through 37 games aren’t calling the Spurs lucky for having had no significant injuries.

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I am also hoping they will react in like manner when I point out that it took Stephen Curry several years to make the Warriors a national factor, and it only took Kristaps Porzingis 37 games to do the same for the wretched New York Knickerbockers. And he’s got better shins.

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Kristaps. Porzingis. Knickerbockers. Scrabble’s sexiest moment.

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Calvin Johnson is suggesting he might retire from the futility farm that is the Detroit Lions. I can think of no reason why that isn’t a perfectly fine idea – if he’s done sensible things with his money. If not, one more year, tops. I mean, Martha Ford isn’t going to be the team’s owner and general manager forever, right?

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And now, politics. I think Ted Cruz’ Canadian “issue” is just a cheap ploy y our neighbors to the north to try and work a trade for Rob Ford. Or for the Maple Leafs. See? I brought it back there.

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And finally, Griffey announced last night he will wear a Mariners cap for his Hall of Fame plaque, and Mike Piazza will wear the bat he should have inserted into Roger Clemens in the 2000 World Series. Festive times, all.

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