UFC 197 needs Nate Diaz vs Justin Bieber as main event

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I missed the Calvin Johnson retirement press conference for an excellent reason. There wasn’t one. He sent out a message short on detail and long on gravity, and then he disappeared, presumably to enjoy the bulk of his life.

If that doesn’t work for you, may your fantasy team achieve no points for all eternity.

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There is a lesson in this, and I have complete faith it will never happen again. Nevertheless, Sunderland FC CEO Margaret Byrne resigned Tuesday in the aftermath of former player Adam Johnson’s conviction on multiple charges stemming from his sexual relationship with a 15-year-old girl.

A story by Josh Halliday in The Guardian explained that Byrne, who has been under fire since Johnson’s conviction, knew about Johnson’s crimes last year, and that her resignation was a direct result of the club’s board being informed by the newspaper of that knowledge.

Byrne said her decision to allow Johnson to remain on the team was a “serious error of judgment.”

“Mr Johnson’s victim has endured a terrible ordeal and for that I am truly sorry. At no time was the failure to suspend him again intended to cause any harm or distress to her or her family.”

A little late for that, but one wonders if it takes that much to get a boss to see that inaction in the face of outrage is always the best idea. I’m guessing that in most cases, it takes a lot more than that.

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Tony Parker is opening a French food truck in San Antonio, for culinary reasons that escape me. I mean, French food is fine and all, but do you want your Coquilles Saint-Jacques to come from a place where you have to ask to hold the exhaust? Plus, is there really a demand for this in San Antonio, which already has more motorized eating joints than it really needs?

And don’t get me wrong here. Truck food is perfectly good. It just isn’t . . . well, French, not even if the truck is a Renault.

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Dear Grant: I speak for the group – please never explain this:

‎”@GrantWahl

Peak MLS: Seattle trades Toronto general allocation money for targeted allocation money.”

Oh, damn it. He did.

“@GrantWahl

GAM for TAM trade: Toronto needed GAM to be salary budget compliant. Seattle needs TAM for 1 of these signings.”

If anyone asks you the reason MLS died when it does, this is the answer.

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Nate Diaz’ interview on TMZ Sports includes two things of interest. One, he says he doesn’t “owe” Conor McGregor a rematch, saying, “I’m sure he does want a rematch. I’ve wanted a lot of rematches too. Time will tell how things play out.”

In other words, he’d like to see some money.

The second is in response to Justin Bieber mocking his fighting style (why?), and was an elegant yet economical riposte: “F--- that fool.”

Let Stockton ring.

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Lots of people felt bad for Jim Tomsula when he got whacked for being himself for a dispirited and undertalented team, and that includes the people who note he got paid $14 million for the destruction of his head coaching career. 

But he’s got nothing whatsoever on Giuseppe Iachini, who just got fired as coach at Italian Serie A side Palermo.

For the third time.

This season.

Yes. For the THIRD time this season.

Palermo is owned by a certifiable bag of walnuts named Maurizio Zamparini who has the attention span of a fruit fly and the creative instincts of a pencil sharpener. By hiring Iachini three times, he showed that he is in a rut. By firing him three times, he showed he actually may have some form of RSI.

Iachini was first sacked back in November in the immediate aftermath of a 1-0 win over Chievo. He was then replaced by Davide Ballardini, who lasted seven games before Iachini returned. Then Iachini asked for money to sign a few players and was fired again after three days and replaced by, yes, you guessed it, Ballardini.

Ballardini promptly lost the dressing room to the point where that he was refusing to talk to his players at all, and he was fired in mid-January to be replaced at which point – of course, Beppe Iachini!

And fifty-seven days later, Iachini was binned again. If it helps your planning, there are 68 days left in Palermo’s season.

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And finally, NFL free agency begins tomorrow. Let the moronic conclusion-jumping run rampant.

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