Toronto was only logical destination for Raffi Torres

Someone has kidnapped Jerry Jones. First, the Dallas Cowboys passed on Johnny Manziel because, well, because Manziel’s life is a hot and potentially criminal mess. Now they will reportedly release Greg Hardy because his 2015 season was a hot and clearly criminal mess – the latest in a series of hot messes by him.

But the matter of what has happened to Jer’ remains open. He couldn’t possibly have devoted his full attention to reordering the power structure of the National Football League, not while there are still reprobates with good 40 times or verticals to needlessly enrich.

# # #

We hardly knew Raffi Torres. Honest, we hardly knew him. Almost not at all, in fact. Then again, when your suspensions were longer than your resume (41-28, including playoffs), the only logical result is being traded to Toronto.

[RELATED: Polak, Spaling eager to do 'big damage' in Sharks' playoff push]

# # #

Coincidentally, that is how many games Jason Thompson played for Golden State before he turned into Anderson Varejao. It is also one more game than Tiger Woods has had top 25 finishes in the last four years, and now that he is allegedly broken, though maybe not, depending on whom you believe, there’s a whole lot of apparent wreckage out on this particular highway.

[RELATED: Warriors make Varejao deal official]

# # #

If you think your team has quit on your coach, you might be right. But your team hasn’t quit on your coach the way Aston Villa seems to have quit on interim coach Remi Garde.

The worst team in the Premier League had a free weekend because of the FA Cup, so Garde scheduled a match at the team’s training ground against the club’s under-21 team – and watched the big team lose to their underlings, 3-0.

Sounds like relegation is too good for them.

# # #

Toronto Blue Jay Jose Bautista said what we have all known for years – “A hometown discount doesn’t exist.” His contract comes up at the end of this year, he has given the Blue Jays a number, and hasn’t heard back. Something tells me they’re about to get that hometown discount – zero.

# # #

If you care about this, you will never be bothered until that fateful day when the cops come by and declare you a material witness.

# # #

Chris Creamer is a logo and uniform god, so when he produced this and this, you got something free to look at it, and something that nobody else will ever care about. So when you ask, “What year did the Giants switch to orange and black?” everyone in the tavern will strike you with half-empty beer steins, but before you black out, you’ll know the answer was 1947.

# # #

Speaking of which, new hitting coach Barry Bonds will have to find a way to make a black sweatshirt work in Miami, because the Marlins uniform combinations clash with, well, everything we know about aesthetics.

# # #

And finally, Chris Brunt made the critical athlete’s mistake of saluting his fans at the end of a game his team lost, but will still come ahead in the end.

Kind of.

After the West Bromwich Albion player got clocked in the eye by a coin thrown by a fan after the Baggies were knocked out of the FA Cup by Reading despite being the only West Brom player to go over and applaud the travelling fans, the Northern Ireland midfielder later said he was “disgusted” and “ashamed.”

Enter fan Debbie Green, who decided to right this wrong by setting up a collection to amass money for a charity of Brunt’s choosing at this weekend’s match with Crystal Palace.

“We want to show Albion fans are not all like that,” she said. “I was angry with the result but no way would you throw anything."

"After the game, Chris was the only one who walked up to the fans and clapped them."

"I was about 25 feet away from what happened. Most were clapping him back and then you get this one idiot. Chris had given his shirt to a little girl. He didn’t deserve that to happen to him.”

Fans will be holding buckets both outside the stadium and in local pubs to raise money as a modified coin throw, which will then be donated entirely to a charity of Brunt’s choice, plus maybe a few quid on the to get him a welder’s helmet the next time he decides to make the mistake of being a good sport.