Roger Goodell’s $34 million salary in 2014 represents a $10 million cut from his high of $44 million in 2012, so he has a new immediate supervisor (I’m guessing Bobby Kraft) who handled his annual review while in a very bad mood.
I’m sure this cruel twist will be untangled next by the new head of Human Resources, Stan Kroenke.
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For the record, here are the Warriors’ record-breaking goals between now and the already-scheduled-but-not-yet-merited parade in June.
• To go 73-9, they need to finish 25-5, a pace that would make them the sixth best team ever.
• To go 41-0 at home, they have to go 17-0, they have to tie the 1972 Miami Dolphins.
• To go 34-7 on the road, they have to finish 10-3 and be 25th best team ever.
• To have the best winning margin ever, they have to win their remaining games by the equivalent of 115-101 – and that only if San Antonio doesn’t widen its own margin of 13.2.
• To have the best playoff record ever in the four-series era, they need to go 16-3 and be the second best team ever.
In other words, they are currently barely good enough to satisfy you greedy brutes.
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Hard to believe the NHL hasn’t made a clarification on the numerous times the Sharks have played with too many men on the ice based solely on the players hiding in the beards of Brent Burns and Joe Thornton on any given shift.
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The new market inefficiency in sports seems to be rampant infidelity. Between Derek Fisher filling his roster with potential future former conquests (or something like that), or the rumors about Peyton Manning’s spectacularly open marriage, apparently rutting is now a measurable athletic skill.
And this is why in the final analysis, immersing yourself only in the metrics of a sport means you’re missing most of the fun.
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You are Bob Myers’ cell phone. Barring a binge of Candy Crush or Bulgarian Slang Scrabble, you won’t have much to do between now and Thursday.
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Jerry Tarkanian is back, and he’s dressing as Larry Brown. From Ed Daigneault of the Waterbury Republican-American:
“While Brown acknowledged the "need" for punishment, he was patently unhappy with the way the NCAA handled SMU's case.
"You need to be punished, I get it, but they wouldn't do that to a power conference. They're going to get Southern Miss, SMU. The NCAA had six to eight weeks to make a decision. They waited 15 weeks. (The seniors) had no recourse (about playing elsewhere for one year).”
Well, Lar’ old shoe, you must know some lawyers who don’t mind kicking a little ass, and Baal knows the NCAA is eminently kickable.
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And finally, more extracurricular canoodling, with added commentary from Andrew Bogut, from the lovable larrikin Matt Yoder of Awful Announcing.
When vows are just suggestions.
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