Michigan AD Hackett a good soul, but galactically delusional

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Cameron Heyward has taken a bold zygomatic stand against his tone-deaf employer and in favor of his dead father, so his reward for doing the right thing is double the fine he took a week ago.

Heyward, the Pittsburgh defensive end, once again honored his father Craig “Ironhead” Heyward, the NFL fullback who died in 2006 of bone cancer, by writing “IRON” and “HEAD” on his stick-on eyeblack. The NFL said it won’t prevent Heyward from playing (that’s mighty gray suit-y of them) but will continue to fine him for the privilege because stupid rules without flexibility for context must be obeyed without thinking. Clearly a Kickstarter must be taken up to raise enough money to buy enough hardbound rulebooks to beat league officials about the face and earholes with them until they figure this out.

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Michigan athletic director Jim Hackett had to chastise the faithful for giving metric tons of grief to punter Blake O’Neill on Twitter, which is of course the place one goes for support and succor in time of trial. His open letter to the flock included this entreaty:

“Today I awake to the shocking reality that our community who care so much about this program would send hurtful, spiteful and vicious comments to one of our students. To be clear, such comments come from a small minority, none of whom are reflective of our institution. The program I know at MICHIGAN speaks about the team, the team the team. The people I have been associated with my whole life around this fantastic program - some who are living and some whom have passed on - would never, I repeat never, spread blame.”

Jim Hackett has a good soul. Jim Hackett is also galactically delusional. Fans like that are in every community, always have been, and always will be, and Michigan is not immune. Ask any Michigan coach who hasn’t beaten Ohio State if the family isn’t capable of putting the “diss” in “dysfunctional.”

[RELATED: Ratto's Top 25: Harbaugh calls for Andy Lee's NCAA eligibility]

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Both Chip Kelly and Sean Payton, currently engaged with NFL jobs, have been linked, albeit tenuously, to the USC job because rumors stopped being about what could be happening behind the scenes long ago and became “What gets me through these next 600 words without the boss inserting kitchen implements near my delicates?”

That said, Ian Rapoport of NFL.com reported that Kelly “of course had so much success in college . . . I am told he would have some interest in the USC job. Although a source close to him points out Chip Kelly really likes to be liked and wanted so that may be driving some of his interest.”

Of course, if Kelly liked to be liked, why the hell would he have ever gone to work in Philadelphia? There, being liked is not having the preamble to the constitution carved into the hood of your Lexus while you’re inside breaking down Giants film.

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Brian Bowling of the Pittsburgh Tribune Review tells us that a local pro-marijuana group got crossways with the National Football League over its company logo, which replaces the three colored hypocycloids in the Steelers logo with stylized marijuana leaves.

“The NFL acts as the licensing agent for the clubs and protects their trademarks,” league spokesman Bryan McCarthy said, and a letter from the league to the Pittsburgh branch of NORML that the logo could mislead the public “into believing that Pittsburgh NORML and/or its products are authorized, approved, sponsored by, or are otherwise affiliated with the NFL and/or the Steelers Club, when they are not.”

Neither McCarthy nor the league’s letter explains just how many drooling idiots it takes to confuse the two logos. I mean, cannabis is supposed to be good for glaucoma, right?

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Tom Brady, Sr., has been properly strident in his son’s defense over Ballghazi, so when he told Gary Myers of the New York Daily News what he hoped for in Sunday night's game between the Patriots and Indianapolis Colts, he pulled only one punch.

“The main thing I want is to see them win. As long as they have one point more than the Colts, I’m fine,” Pops said. “That being said, I’d like to see them put 60 points on the board, and love to see Tom throw for 500 yards and eight touchdowns. That’s me dreaming. That kind of comes from me.”

As it turns out, neither Brady got any of those things, but this serves as a fresh reminder that life’s a bear when kicking the NFL’s butt doesn’t provide sufficient satisfaction.

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