
College football coaches are disappearing almost by the day – in fact, by the day, if you count Randy Edsall on Sunday and Steve Sarkisian and Steve Spurrier on Monday. Next up – Dabo Swinney, only he will neither be fired nor retire, but self-combust during an interview when someone asks him to update his reaction to the word “Clemsoning.”
[RELATED: Report: Former 49ers QB Spurrier retiring from South Carolina]
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And now, over to Pete Thamel of Sports Illustrated, who explained it all for us: “On Oct. 12, there are five DI jobs open -- USC, South Carolina, Illinois, Maryland and North Texas. And it's Oct. 12.”
By the way, it’s Oct. 12.
[RELATED: USC fires head coach Steve Sarkisian]
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And now, over to Spencer Hall of Every Day Should Be Saturday, who . . . ohhhh, his skull just exploded and sent skull-shards careening all over his office.
Hey, there’s the love of chaos and then there’s this.
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No, TBS, I did not know that Eddie Vedder was a Cubs fan. But if it helps, I didn’t care, either. In fact, nobody has ever cared about the put-the-B-list-celebrity-behind-home-plate-for-easy-cross-promotion phenomenon (“Hey, I didn’t know Kat Dennings liked the Ottawa Senators!”) except marketing people, and at this stage of our development as a culture, most of us would emigrate to avoid most marketing people when they have the scent of a potential T-shirt giveaway in their nostrils.
[RELATED: Cubs smack postseason record six homers, take NLDS lead over Cardinals]
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Don Mattingly’s decision not to trot Chase Utley out for a potentially cataclysmic at-bat in Monday’s 13-7 Dodgers loss to the New York Mets disappointed almost as many people who wanted to see Bartolo Colon bat in Game 2. I mean, the crowd did chant, “We want Utley” in a totally zen-like and non-menacing way.
In that special loving New York “come on out and let us f--- you up for a few minutes” kind of way.
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The Golden State Warriors celebrated their purchase of the land for their new arena by trying to sell the land upon which their current arena resides, except that there is one slightly aware politician still in Alameda County who knows that the Coliseum is still (gasp! choke! hurl on a policeman’s horse!) a public facility.
In the meantime, more and more people see a Los Angeles NFL scenario that does not include the Oakland Raiders, which will only make Mark Davis own the team longer. There are owners who regard him as an undercapitalized lightweight by current ownership wealth standards, but he’s more likely to sell at Los Angeles prices than Oakland prices because, even though he’ll never know a day of poverty, $2.5 billion is still more than $1.2 billion. I know. I’ve asked people.
[RELATED: Welts' new arena anology: Warriors 'on the 10 with a first down']
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Playboy is no longer going to provide pictures of nude women, which is monumental news for 1985. It has nothing to do with sports, but having watched Steelers-Chargers, I can say that there a lot of things that have nothing to do with sports.
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And finally, Tom Brady took to the airwaves to defend his personal trainer, Alex Guerrero, who has been attacked in Boston Magazine as “a snake-oil salesman,” but in doing so, and attacking the processed food industry, he said something that is simply and demonstrably wrong.
“I think we’ve been lied to by a lot of food companies over the years, by a lot of beverage companies over the years,” he said to living humans on WEEI radio in Boston. “But we still do it. That’s just America, and that’s what we’ve been conditioned to. We believe that Frosted Flakes is a food. . . . You just keep eating those things, and you keep wondering why we have just incredible rates of disease in our country. No one thinks it has anything to do with what we put in our body.”
He is, of course, correct about Frosted Flakes, because Frosted Flakes is not a food. Frosted Flakes is a god.