Jerry Jones' master plan involves waiting for mythical pony

This is why the NHL All-Star Game should never be held again, from John Scott. This is the link from his piece in The Players’ Tribune; click on it for his sake.

Here, however, is the telling paragraph:

“So when someone from the NHL calls me and says, ‘Do you think this is something your kids would be proud of?’” that’s when they lost me.

[KURZ: NHL bruiser Scott reveals shady details of All-Star nod]

“That was it, right there. That was the moment. Because, while I may not deserve to be an NHL All-Star, I know I deserve to be the judge of what my kids will — and won’t — be proud of me for.”

Gary Bettman should already have apologized to Scott abjectly and publicly for this lowest of blows, and should find a way to fire and/or suspend the person who made the suggestion. He will do neither, of course because the NHL ruined its All-Star Game decades before John Scott came along and got to have his role as a parent insulted by some oatmeal-skulled functionary for his trouble.

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Tyronn Lue has coached 40 fewer games than Luke Walton and is an All-Star coach. Dwane Casey, who coaches the second-best team in the East, which coincidentally is hosting the game, doesn’t get to.

So yeah, sign Adam Silver up for one of those apologies too, if only for lack of forethought and imagination from an organization that saw the eminent value in having Mary Babers-Green break the news to her son that he was named to the Western Conference All-Star team.

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Jerry Jones is surprised that the Dallas Cowboys have gone two decades without a Super Bowl, telling Brandon George of the Dallas Morning News. “I’m the most surprised person in Mobile, or the country, that we haven’t been back to and competed in a Super Bowl. But I know firsthand that you can go from the outhouse to the penthouse, and I’ve experienced it. Consequently, that fact has always driven me to know that it’s just around the corner. There’s a pony in here somewhere.”

That’s the legend that should splashed across both sides of the field in Dallas to remind everyone of Jerry’s master plan -- waiting for a mythical pony.

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Now that the Warriors have broken the NBA regular season, we’re here to provide you with something of value, namely the Standings On Your Head. As of today, your five worst teams are:

TEAM                             W   L   PCT  GA (GAMES AHEAD)
Philadelphia                   7  40  .149    ____
Los Angeles Lakers        9  38  .191    2
Brooklyn                       12  34  .261   5 1/2
Minnesota                    14  33  .298    7
Phoenix                        14  33  .298   7

Given that we all projected the 76ers to win seven games all year, this has suddenly become a thing we should follow . . . I mean, since the locals have screwed up basketball until April.

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In related unrelated news, the WNBA is going to a 1-through-8 playoff system without separating the teams by conferences, an idea the NBA might glom onto at some point. Of course, the WNBA has 12 teams, so the practical impact will be less, but the NBA teams might be reluctant to leap.

In other words, under the present setup, the Warriors would open with Portland, whereas a 1-16 setup would have them traveling cross-country to open with Charlotte. Somehow, I don’t think the Warriors will view that to be such a dandy reward.

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And finally, this ad gives you one more example of everything you need to know about Super Bowl Week.

In short, you can stay in a shed for a week for only $1,400. But no using any of the tools. Our culture is bankrupt.