Durant-to-Warriors rumors happen when 44-4 becomes boring

Denver Broncos practice squad player Ryan Murphy, whose brother got caught in a bit of a thing with a prostitute (we don’t judge), was sent home by head coach Gary Kubiak – mostly because he’s Ryan Murphy and not Von Miller, and also because messages are easier to deliver with Ryan Murphy as the prop.

Too bad. We were hoping to have our own little Eugene Robinson story, but it was too early in the week. We live in deconstructionist hope.

[RELATED: Broncos player questioned in San Jose prostitution sting]

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Yes, the Warriors really are boring the eyes out of Basketball World, which is why Adrian Wojnarowski’s trenchant analysis of Kevin Durant as an ideal future Golden Stater has caused such a stir. The story, which is actually an intriguing one, caused any number of fans, media and other mammalian detritus.

And why? Because Warrior fans need tension in a season in which the tensest moment of all came when they nearly vomited up a loss to the Philadelphias Saturday night. Evidently getting Durant would solve the issue of those four troublesome losses, and then the Warriors could get Jimmy Butler, Andre Drummond, Andrew Wiggins, Kristaps Porzingis, Ish Smith, Zaza Pachulia and Z-Bo so that they can go 88-and-minus-six next year.

In sum, this is what happens when the magic of winning 11 of every 12 games is gone – you smug, jaded, sniveling bastards.

[RELATED: Rookie Looney key in Warriors' expected pursuit of Durant]

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I seriously gave Johnny Manziel as much thought when he got fired as when he got drafted, pushed, pushed and pushed again to save the Cleveland Browns from being the Cleveland Browns, when it is clear that being the Cleveland Browns is all they know, and now they’ll have to find a new street dweller to give Jimmy Haslam instructions on how to keep his team the first laughing stock in the crowded field of organized North American sport.

As for Manziel, it’s probably good that he recognized football just isn’t his thing before he ended up trying to actually care about it.

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The best thing about the NFL is that no story ever dies. The best thing about stories involving the New England Patriots is that nobody would ever allow it.

Thus, the Boston Herald, tracking Roger Goodell’s interview with Rich Eisen on Employees Talk To The Boss, noticed immediately that Ballghazi has stopped interesting the boss. From The Blitz (which is the name of every other football-based media item across the planet):

“Don’t expect any more details from the NFL about the PSI levels in footballs they tested this past season.

“That’s the word NFL commissioner Roger Goodell passed on today when he told The Rich Eisen Show the league did not track PSI readings in the games in which it randomly checked air levels in footballs this season. Moreover, Goodell said the did not find any violations of its regulations for PSI levels.

Goodell said the league conducted ‘spot checks’ to ‘create a deterrent effect’ and that there is no database of PSI levels he intends to share. 

“What the league did this year was what we do with a lot of rules and policies designed to protect the integrity of the game, and that's to create a deterrent effect. We do spot checks to prevent and make sure the clubs understand that we're watching these issues. It wasn't a research study. They simply were spot checks. There were no violations this year. We're pleased that we haven't had any violations and we continue the work, obviously, to consistently and importantly enforce the integrity of the game and the rules that are designed to protect it.”

So the league made a big stink about something it really doesn’t care about? Again? They really are hell-bent on making curling America’s game, aren’t they?

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Our position on owners is well known – there should be a three-cent bounty on nearly all of them – but I’m willing to make an exception for the soccer club Glantraeth of the third tier of the Welsh Alliance league, because according to BBC North West Wales, the new club president is Naomi Watts.

Yes. That Naomi Watts.

She agreed to become the club’s “honorary” president because, well, she spent time as a child on her grandparents’ farm near the team’s hub in Malltreath (pop. 400). And also because someone had the whimsical temerity to ask.

Club secretary Stan Strickland suggested Ms. Watts as a replacement for the outgoing president, sent a letter to Watts’ agent and spelled out the wisdom of the request: “She spent three years of her childhood here and attended school in Llangefni before becoming a major film star. I just thought, ‘If you don't ask, you don't get.’ She has now got her publicist involved, so we could end up in the New York Times.”

Her duties are expected to include having her name on the club’s website, letterhead and match day programs, in exchange for which while she will be provided with annual performance updates. First job, though – getting the attendance up over 40 a game.

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And finally, Lady Gaga will sing the national anthem Sunday. You’ll either be getting another bucketful of food, another vase of beer or standing in the line for the bathroom, so it really won’t matter to you – unless of course she decides to shriek the anthem instead, forgets the words or Tony Bennett tears her dress off.

And we continue to live in deconstructionist hope.